I lost my virginity in a hammock

I lost my virginity in a hammock

Brent in hammock
That didn’t come out right. “I’m no longer a hammock virgin—I slept my first night in a hammock.” That’s better. My first hammock experience was not in the “piney woods” as hammock enthusiast “Shug” would say. I took the safe approach and hanged (hung?) the hammock in my backyard, which may be comparable to losing your virginity in a brothel—it’s safe and everyone is happy  🙂

My mate for the evening was an Eagles Nest Outfitters (ENO) DoubleNest Hammock. While I bought the ENO Bug Net, I didn’t use it that night (like sex without a condom?). No need for a net, the bugs were not out that evening, but the stars were…and the birds in the morning.

How did I sleep? I slept great! Not to get personal, but I’m a tummy sleeper, and hammocks are not friendly to that arrangement unless your back folds the wrong way. But I had no issues and slept surprisingly well. As everyone raves, hanging in a hammock is wonderfully peaceful. No worries about what creepy crawlers might be  exploring on the ground—they won’t get you while suspended in a hammock.

While designed for two people,  I would never use the ENO DoubleNest Hammock that way. Having two people in the same hammock is terribly uncomfortable—though fun to watch—and if a couple enters the hammock as virgins, they won’t exit that way. Again, sort of like going to a brothel.

Sorry, hammocks are for singles only. 

Post Script:

I guess I was wrong. Two to a hammock is something of an erotic art form according to the Hammock Sutra video, which is NSFW as it contains suggestive illustrations of how two people can enjoy a hammock together.

Get in! No time to explain!

%d bloggers like this: