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Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending.
~ Carl Bard

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Never Lie to Your Mother

Brian Hester invited his mother over for dinner. During the course of the meal, Brian's mother couldn't help but keep noticing how beautiful Brian's roommate, Stephanie, was.

Mrs. Hester had long been suspicious of a relationship between Brian and Stephanie, and this had only made her the more curious.

Over the course of the evening, while watching the two react, Mrs.Hester started to wonder if there was more between Brian and Stephanie than met the eye.

Reading his mom's thoughts, Brian volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you Stephanie and I are just roommates."

About a week later, Stephanie came to Brian saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. You don't suppose she took it, do you?"

Brian said, "Well, I doubt it , but I'll send her a e-mail just to be sure."

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21 Funny Airline Announcements

Rec'd from co-worker this list of 21 funny statements made by pilots or attendents in the cabin of commercial airliners. Here are the top three...

1. On a Southwest flight 245 (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"

2. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."

3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.

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MRSA - Methicillin-Resistant Staphylococcus Aureus - Research

MRSA - Methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus - Saw a 60 Minutes piece on MRSA, the antibiotic-resistant strain of staph. It's spread by person-to-person contact, and vulnerable to only one antibiotic--the antibiotic of last resort--vincomycin. And doctors expect this "superbug" to soon develop a resistance to that sole, remaining weapon. What do we do? More research. They hope for a vaccine, and other antibiotic treatments are expected on the horizon. Will this happen fast enough?

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How to Make Love in the Morning

Found this on answer.yahoo.com. In poor taste, but funny.

Tyrone asked his work buddy, Robert, one morning, "Man, why you always so damn happy when you come to work every day?"

Robert replied, "Because I make love to my wife every morning before work."

Amazed, Tyrone asked him how he gets his wife to make love to him every morning.

"That's easy," Robert said, "I just tell her this little poem that I made up.

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Historically Hardcore ~ Fake Smithsonian Ads?

These ads were from a school project (per brobible.com). Very clever and funny.

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Stroke of Insight - Jill Bolte Taylor at TED - Video & Transcript

Stroke of Insight - Jill Bolte Taylor - One of the most profound presentations I have ever experienced....WATCH THIS!

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Resveratrol - Why Red Wine Extends Life - French Paradox

Resveratrol - 60 Minutes recently ran a piece about Resveratrol, a compound produced by certain plants (like red wine grapes) when they are under attack by bacteria or fungi. Some think resveratrol is the explanation for the French paradox, the observation that the French have a low incidence of heart disease, despite a diet rich in saturated fats. To explain the paradox, some researchers pointed to the relatively high red wine consumption of the French. As red wine studies progressed, researchers isolated a compound in grape skin called resveratrol.

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Why I Hate Beauty

"Men are barraged with images of extraordinarily beautiful and unobtainable women in the media, making it difficult for them to desire the ordinarily beautiful."
~ Michael Levine, Why I Hate Beauty

Why would this be so? Because of how the contrast effect influences our perception of beauty. To explain, suppose I see a super beautiful woman. A short time later I see a woman of average beauty. Because I saw the super beauty first, I would likely rate the average beauty as less beautiful than if I saw the average beauty first. The contrast created by seeing the super beauty first influences my perception, making me judge the average beauty (seen second) as less beautiful than I normally would.

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What Happens To Your Body If You Drink A Coke

Another great post from Wade Meredith at Healthbolt. I really like what this guy does. I learned so much from his What Happens To Your Body When You Stop Smoking. Do read the original post:

What Happens To Your Body If You Drink A Coke Right Now?

If link is not available, read cached copy below...

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South Beach Heart Health Revolution - by Agatston - Notes

Calcium score - Also called Agatston score, measures the amount of calcified plaque inside the coronary arteries. Higher the calcium score, the higher the chance of heart attack. Excellent predictor of future heart attack risk.

Computed tomography (CT) or electron beam tomography (EBT) - used for imaging heart. Scans provide a calcium score?

Atherosclerosis - When artery walls gradually filled with plaque (cholesterol, inflammatory cells, scar tissue). Different kinds of plaque. Heart attack caused when soft cholesterol rich plaque bursts, resulting in blood clot. Blood clot blocks blood flow to heart. News to me. I thought plaque, not a blood clot, that caused artery blockage and heart attack. But this clot model makes sense, given sudden nature of heart attack. A slowly developing plaque blockage should give the heart time to grow collateral vessels.

Better model of heart attack - Heart attack not caused by plaque blockage in the tube of the vessel (old school). The culprit is plaque depositing in the inner lining of vessel walls, like pimple filled with cholesterol. When pimples bursts, an injury site is created. To heal the injury, a clot will form. If the clot is big enough, it blocks the artery, causing heart attack.

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How Sewing Machine Works - Great Illustration

How Sewing Machine Works - I'd alway wondered. In fact, as a schoolboy, I struggled to understand the mechanism, and now, with this animated gif, I get it...I think...WAIT! There's something wrong with this picture.

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Don't Let Breast Cancer Steal Second Base

My Mom, a breast cancer survivor, would have laughed at this one.

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Insults with Class

Maryannaville collected some great quotes for her blog post When Insults Had Class. I notice almost all were from or about men.

I am not insulted.

Here are some of my favorites, with a couple others I found.


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Dora the Explorer Aquapet Sex Toy?


Dora the Explorer Aquapet

What exactly is Dora exploring with this toy?

Dora the Explorer Aquapet - This is an actual child's toy listed (until recently) on Amazon. Looks like a sex ed. prop gone wrong. What were the Dora the Explorer toy designers thinking when they created this?

In my defense, my wife thought the same thing when she saw the toy. So did Dave Barry! And his readers made these comments about Dora's Aquapet Toy

Looks like Amazon has already pulled the Dora the Explorer Aquapet product.

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Before You Enlist - Watch This Video!!

Here's an excellent reality check for those thinking about enlisting in the military. Among the lessons you'll learn:

Recruitment Contracts Are UNILATERAL

Which means you, the recruit, are legally bound and obligated to fulfill the terms of the contract.

HOWEVER, the government is NOT.

In fact, the government can CHANGE the terms of the contract as they desire, and they routinely do.

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Worst Breakfast Ever

Take a gander at the total fat, saturated fat, sodium, and cholesterol content in this mother of a breakfast from Swanson. It's called the Hungry Man All Day Breakfast--sure to give you arteriosclerosis.

I'll take two.


Swanson Hungry Man All Day Breakfast

Worst Breakfast Ever

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Is High Octane Gas Worth the Money?

High octane gas is expensive - Is it worth the money?

In my post Is Cheap Gas Bad for Your Car, I discovered that in the U.S., gas is gas. The only significant difference between cheap gas and brand name gas is the price. But what about octane rating?

  • Does using a higher octane gas improve mileage or fuel economy?
  • Does higher octane gas give my car more power?

The answers may surprise you.

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Pride and Prejudice - 2005 Version Review

I'm an unusual man, at least in one sense: I love movies adapted from Jane Austen novels.

Note, I've never actually read a Jane Austen novel.

I just like the movies...Well, most of them.

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Yoga Instructor Sara Ivanhoe

Sara Ivanhoe Yoga - Watched an excellent instructional video, Basic Yoga Workout for Dummies with the beautiful and poised Sara Ivanhoe. Very well produced and directed (except for the annoying sound effects used to highlight tips, note, and warnings). Ivanhoe comes across so clear, effective, and genuine. She'd make a wonderful television anchor. Top notch. Further, it looks like the DVDs produced by Anchor Bay share excellent production values and information.

The DVD goes through 12 basic poses, describing each clearly and simply. I never found the format boring or tedious. Useful tips sprinkled throughout kept the presentation interesting, yet you get full yoga session by watching the presentation. Very effective format and structure. Hate to say it, but these Dummies products tend to be pretty good.

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12 Surprising Ways to Improve Gas Mileage

There are lots of web pages offering advice on improving automobile gas mileage. The government's gas mileage tips are perhaps the most complete. Edmunds offers it's own ten tips for improving fuel economy. And Doris Dobkins' top ten list to better mileage is good.

In reviewing these sources, I found a number of surprising or out-of-the ordinary ways for improving car gas mileage. I compiled them into this list, which I hope will help you improve your car's fuel economy.

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