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If someone wrote a book about your life, would anyone want to read it?
~ From Ad for U.S. Army
25 Worst High School Essay Analogies
Rec'd via email...a couple times. Popular and funny list of analogies used in high school essays. I think some of them are pretty inventive.
- The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
- She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
- His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
- He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
- Her hair glistened in the rain, like a nose hair after a sneeze.
15 Penis Facts
No comment...Except to say this knitted penis doll in the picture might be a better Christmas gift than Amazon's Dora The Exlorer Sex Toy.
15 things you don't know about your penis
By Mike Zimmerman
- There are two types of penises. One kind expands and lengthens when becoming erect (a grower). The other appears big most of the time, but doesn't get much bigger after achieving erection (a shower).
- Smoking can shorten your penis by as much as a centimeter. Erections are all about good bloodflow, and lighting up calcifies blood vessels, stifling erectile circulation. So even if you don't care all that much about your lungs or dying young, spare the li'l guy.
- No brain is necessary for ejaculation. That order comes from the spinal cord. Finding a living vessel for said ejaculation, however, takes hours of careful thought and, often, considerable amounts of alcohol.
Butt Out! - Apply Directly to the Forehead
Butt Out! - I heard about this bizzaro product or tool on reddit. After some investigation, I discovered the product is named Butt Out -- which describes exactly what the tool does. To learn more, have a look at the picture below, and if you have the stomach, the video farther down.
It sure isn't a "pleasuring device" as someone suggested...
Skinny Dipping? ~ Think Fast
My wife was emailed this image & funny little story and passed it my way. Quick thinking wins again!
Ben Stein Gets Expelled - Commentary
Ben Stein
Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed
Ben Stein hosts a documentary called Expelled: No Intelligence Allowed. I have not seen the film yet, and at first I was quite critical about the film's position, as I saw it, of supporting creationism. But as I read more, I realize that while I don't agree with Stein's position on creationism, I do agree that those who support the hypothesis should not be persecuted--IF indeed they are exploring a hypothesis of intelligent design scientifically and not simply foisting or promulgating religious beliefs.* But if people, scientific or not, want to explore the idea that there is an intelligence behind the creation of the universe, more power to them. It's an hypothesis worth exploring scientifically. However, it is not dogma that should be accepted without evidence...or taught in our schools. As dogma, such a belief is personal and/or religious. As a hypothesis, it's worth exploring.
Regarding the film's production, I've heard accounts that some of the scientists who criticize creationism (Dawkins, etc.) were mislead by producers as to the film's intent and how their participation would be used. If true, that's really offends me and greatly reduces my interest in seeing the film.
Flickr Batch Download Utilities
I love flickr. It's great for sharing my photos, and for finding some wonderful imagery to support my posts (per creative commons licensing in most cases).
But I was bummed that I couldn't batch download my flickr photos to my local machine--until I found these utilities:
Tax Breaks vs. Budget Cuts
So these are the trade-offs...
Via ~ Infographic: Tax Breaks vs. Budget Cuts
Mother Teresa's Faith ~ In Her Own Words
Mother Teresa expressed grave doubts about God's existence and pain over her lack of faith...
Why Organic Milk Lasts Longer than Regular Milk
Why Organic Milk Lasts Longer than Regular Milk - The difference lies NOT in the source of the milk but in how it's processed.
LTLT Pasteurization - The pasteurization process commonly used with regular milk is called "low temperature, long time" (LTLT) pasteurization, which heats the milk to 145 degree F for at least 30 minutes. The temperatures used in LTLT pasteurization do NOT kill all the bacteria in the milk, but do kill enough to keep it safe for a week or so.
UHT Pasteurization - The pasteurization process commonly used with organic milk is called ultrahigh-temperature pasteurization (UHT) and heats the milk to 280 degrees F for 2-4 seconds. UHT pasteurization kills all bacteria in the milk.
Why not use UHT for Regular Milk? Besides killing all bacteria, UHT pasteurization destroys some of milk's vitamins (a small amount) and alters some proteins in the milk so that it cannot be used for making cheese.
Keep Me In Your Heart (for a while) - Warren Zevon - Lyrics
This would have been a good song for my mom's "momorial." Maybe I can have it for mine.
Shadows are falling and I'm running out of breath
Keep me in your heart for awhile
If I leave you it doesn't mean I love you any less
Keep me in your heart for awhile
When you get up in the morning and you see that crazy sun
Keep me in your heart for awhile
Biomimicry - Innovation Inspired by Nature - by Janine Benyus
Biomimicry by Janine Benyus - Fascinating idea--philosophy, really--that we should look to the existing designs of nature for "innovation."
Not that such an approach isn't being used. Look at how pharmaceutical companies develop compounds found in rainforests into new drugs.
But biomimicry as Benyus describes it is something deeper. It's about changing how we view ourselves in the world as much as how we seek out nature-inspired design.
Why It's Better to Be the Boss
Woman Airborne On Sleigh
Woman Airborne on Sleigh - Too, TOO funny. Swapped from SI.com. Do have a look at their other interesting photos. I couldn't resist sharing this one.
If GM Built Cars Like Microsoft Builds Software
Yet another fantastically funny email. I wonder if the story behind this has any truth.
For all of us who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way computers have enhanced our lives, read on. At a recent computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated:
In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued this press release...
Chili Judge - by W. Bruce Cameron
The funniest essay I've read, period. Always has me belly laughing, with tears running down my face.
Chili Judge
Copyright 1997 W. Bruce Cameron
Please do not remove the copyright from this essay
Recently I was honored to be selected
as an Outstanding Famous Celebrity in my Community to be
a judge at a chili cook-off because no one else wanted to
do it. Also the original person called in sick at the last
moment and I happened to be standing there at the judge's
table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call
came.
I was assured by the other two judges that the chili wouldn't
be all that spicy, and besides they told me I could have
free beer during the tasting, so I accepted this as being
one of those burdens you endure when you're an Internet
writer and therefore known and adored by all.
Cholesterol Myth - Evidence Refuting Cholesterol Causes Heart Disease
Cholesterol Myth / Heart Disease Myth - I've become suspicious of the current model that high blood cholesterol (particularly LDL) is directly related to coronary heart disease risk (CHD). Operating from this belief, doctors prescribe drugs which reduce blood LDL levels thinking this effect also reduces the heart disease risk (CHD). Specifically, I'm referring to the widespread acceptance of statin drugs (Crestor, Zocor, Lipitor, etc.).
Statins clearly reduce LDL, but they carry with them other effects that may be more relevant to reducing CHD risk than reducing LDL levels. It's like trying to stop aging by stopping hair from turning gray. Gray hair is a symptom of aging, but not necessarily part of the cause. Similarly, LDL may be a symptom of CHD risk, but NOT likely a cause.
However, as I make clear below, I don't think high LDL is necessarily a symptom of high CHD risk.
Work in progress. I hope to have study citations to support each assertion listed below in what I hope will be a more comprehensive model of coronary heart disease (CHD).
No Sex Tonight
Classic piece off of craigslist. Totally hilarious. If link dies, read cached copy below.
best of craigslist : NO SEX TONIGHT!
NO SEX TONIGHT!
I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.
FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed...
Slow Dance - Poem of Terminally Ill Girl
A terminally ill girl wrote this poem...or so the story goes. I picked the poem up from the status-quo-shattering book The 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss. Whether a terminally ill girl wrote it or not, it does make you think...
Unified Theory of Heart Disease - by Linus Pauling
The story of coronary artery disease (CAD) begins with where artery blockages occur and where they don't. Typically, blockages occur in the coronary arteries on the outer surface of the heart. However, blockages are not often found in arteries or veins in any other part of the body (though carotid blockages are becoming more common). Furthermore, the CAD blockages do not naturally occur in other species. What's different about the coronary arteries of the human species that make them vulnerable to heart disease?
To explain the difference, Linus Pauling posited a theory, his Unified Theory of Heart Disease. Pauling observed that the CAD blockages occur in areas of high mechanical stress. Due to their location, these arteries are subject to continuous squeezing, pulling, and tugging from the ceaseless contractions of the heart. Like a garden hose that's repeatedly compressed or squeezed, this mechanical stress has the potential for causing damage. Normally, the body quickly repairs that damage, and in most other mammals (those that do not naturally suffer from CAD), the repair is seamless. In humans, however, the repeated repair process leads to CAD. Why?
Jon Stewart's Solution to Financial Crisis
Jon Stewart's solution to economic crisis - While interviewing Lawrence Lindsey, author of What the President Should Know, Jon Stewart's shares his solution for the economic crisis: Instead of paying bail out money to banks, pay the money to consumers, who will pay it to the banks to help reduce the consumers' loan debt. That way everyone (except for taxpayers) wins: the banks get the money AND consumers gets debt relief.
Lindsey, a finance savvy guy, sort of agrees, but argues that paying the consumers rewards consumers for bad behavior ("Oh, I can get a loan and get money from the Government to pay it off"). As Stewart quickly pointed out, same can be said for the banks.
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