Notes from NYT article What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage by Amy Sutherland introduces how methods used by animal trainers can be used to train your spouse (or co-workers, etc.). I adopted the trainers' motto: "It's never the animal's fault."
Main point - Reward good behavior, ignore bad behavior.
"After all, you don't get a sea lion to balance a ball on the end of its nose by nagging. The same goes for the American husband."
Absolutely brilliant!!! This woman nails the situation on the head:
DO READ her original post: A Peaceful Marriage is Not Always 50/50