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Andy Rooney on Atheism (Quote)
Stanley Kubrick on Life ~ Playboy Interview Excerpt
Self Portrait by Stanley Kubrick
Playboy: If life is so purposeless, do you feel its worth living?
Insults with Class
Maryannaville collected some great quotes for her blog post When Insults Had Class. I notice almost all were from or about men.
I am not insulted.
Here are some of my favorites, with a couple others I found.
Hunter S. Thompson - Quotes
Hunter S. Thompson
There are times, however, and this is one of them, when even being right feels wrong. What do you say, for instance, about a generation that has been taught that rain is poison and sex is death? If making love might be fatal and if a cool spring breeze on any summer afternoon can turn a crystal blue lake into a puddle of black poison right in front of your eyes, there is not much left except TV and relentless masturbation. It's a strange world. Some people get rich and others eat shit and die.
~ Gonzo Papers, Vol. 2: Generation of Swine: Tales of Shame and Degradation in the '80s (1988)
Gregory Bateson - Favorite Quotes & Ideas
Gregory Bateson (9 May 1904 – 4 July 1980) was a British anthropologist, social scientist, linguist, semiotician and cyberneticist whose work intersected that of many other fields. Some of his most noted writings are to be found in his books, Steps to an Ecology of Mind (1972) and Mind and Nature (1979). Angels Fear (published posthumously in 1987) was co-authored by his daughter Mary Catherine Bateson.
Gregory Bateson - Wikipedia
Getting Things Done by David Allen - Quotes
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Things rarely get stuck because of lack of time. They get stuck because the doing of them has not been defined.
~ David Allen
There is usually an inverse proportion between how much something is on your mind and how much it's getting done.
~ David Allen
Anything that does not belong where it is, is an "open loop" pulling on your attention.
~ David Allen
Random Quote
Favorite Atheism Quotes
Atheism Quotes - Absolutely love the Top 50 Atheism Quotes from LeftOfZen.com. Here are about 20 of my favorites:
With or without religion, you would have good people doing good things and evil people doing evil things. But for good people to do evil things, that takes religion.
~ Steven Weinberg
"It ain’t those parts of the Bible that I can’t understand that bother me, it is the parts that I do understand."
~ Mark Twain
Properly read, the Bible is the most potent force for atheism ever conceived.
~ Isaac Asimov
The fact that a believer is happier than a skeptic is no more to the point than the fact that a drunken man is happier than a sober one.
~ George Bernard Shaw
Men never commit evil so fully and joyfully as when they do it for religious convictions.
~ Blaise Pascal
Great Questions
- Who writes elevator music? Do they do it intentionally?
- If our moms were setting us up on a blind date, what three things would your mom tell mine about you?
- If you were a candy bar, which one would you be, and why?
- If they made a movie about your life, which actor should portray you?
- What was your favorite cereal as a kid?
Seven Blunders of the World - by Mahatma Gandhi
Seven Blunders of the World
- Wealth without work
- Pleasure without conscience
- Knowledge without character
- Commerce without morality
- Science without humanity
- Worship without sacrifice
- Politics without principle
4-Hour Workweek - Quotes
My favorite quotes from 4-Hour Workweek by Timothy Ferriss. Unless otherwise attributed, all quotes direct from the author.
Identify the few critical tasks that contribute most to income and schedule them with very short and clear deadlines.
Most inputs are useless and time is wasted in proportion to the amount of time that is available.
A task will swell in (perceived) importance and complexity in relation to the time allotted for its completion. ~ Parkinson's Law
Perfection is not when there is no more to add, but no more to take away ~ Antoine de Saint-Exupery
Being overwhelmed is often as unproductive as doing nothing...
Lack of time is actually lack of priorities.
How to Punctuate for Sex
The Importance of Punctuation
An English professor wrote these words on a blackboard:
Then directed the students to punctuate it correctly.
The men wrote: "A woman, without her man, is nothing."
The women wrote: "A woman: without her, man is nothing."
30 Funny Statements Heard in Court
Funny Words in Court - From a little book called Disorder in the Court: Great Fractured Moments in Courtroom History. Here are about 30 things people actually said in court, word for word.
25 Things You Should Have Learned by Middle Age
Rec'd by email...VERY funny...even wise.
1. If you're too open-minded, your brains will fall out.
2. Don't worry about what people think, they don't do it very often.
3. Going to church doesn't make you a Christian, any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
4. It ain't the jeans that make your butt look fat.
5. Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.
Funny Newspaper Headlines
Newspaper Headlines - Found these at Funny Pages. They are all hopefully inadvertent. Some very funny. Some take a while to get what's wrong. Here are a few of my favorites:
- Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
- Never withhold herpes from loved one
- Farmer bill dies in house
- Organ festival ends in smashing climax
Dave Barry Learned All This in 50 Years
Dave Barry
What Dave Barry Learned in 50 Years - Got this by email. Totally hilarious....After the first three, I lost bladder control--Thanks Dave Barry!
- Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
- If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
- There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
25 Worst High School Essay Analogies
Rec'd via email...a couple times. Popular and funny list of analogies used in high school essays. I think some of them are pretty inventive.
- The ballerina rose gracefully en Pointe and extended one slender leg behind her, like a dog at a fire hydrant.
- She had a deep, throaty, genuine laugh, like that sound a dog makes just before it throws up.
- His thoughts tumbled in his head, making and breaking alliances like underpants in a dryer without Cling Free.
- He fell for her like his heart was a mob informant, and she was the East River.
- Her hair glistened in the rain, like a nose hair after a sneeze.
21 Funny Airline Announcements
Rec'd from co-worker this list of 21 funny statements made by pilots or attendents in the cabin of commercial airliners. Here are the top three...
1. On a Southwest flight 245 (SW has no assigned seating, you just sit where you want) passengers were apparently having a hard time choosing, when a flight attendant announced, "People, people we're not picking out furniture here, find a seat and get in it!"
2. On a Continental Flight with a very "senior" flight attendant crew, the pilot said, "Ladies and gentlemen, we've reached cruising altitude and will be turning down the cabin lights. This is for your comfort and to enhance the appearance of your flight attendants."
3. On landing, the stewardess said, "Please be sure to take all of your belongings. If you're going to leave anything, please make sure it's something we'd like to have.
Secrets of Stress Management
Photo by Adrian Sampson Received via email. Dunno who to credit.
Stress Management - When explaining stress management to an audience, the lecturer raised a glass of water and asked:
"How heavy is this glass of water?"
Answers called out ranged from 8 oz. to 20 oz.
The lecturer replied:
"The absolute weight doesn't matter. It depends on how long you try to hold it.
"If I hold it for a minute, that's not a problem. If I hold it for an hour, I'll have an ache in my right arm. If I hold it for a day, you'll have to call an ambulance.
In each case, it's the same weight:
The longer I hold it, the heavier it becomes.
Quotes
A society grows great when old men plant trees whose shade they know they shall never sit in.
~ Greek proverb
War is where the young and stupid are tricked by the old and bitter into killing each other.
~ Niko Bellic, Grand Theft Auto IV
There are few actual gentlemen inside of a gentleman's club.
~ Scott Smith
The Muse visits during the act of creation, not before. Don't wait for her. Start alone.
~ Roger Ebert
You are born an original, don't die a copy
The taming and domestication of religious faith is one of the unceasing chores of civilization.
~ Christopher Hitchens
Religion is regarded by the common people as true, by the wise as false, and by the rulers as useful.
~ Lucius Annaeus Seneca, 4 BC - 65 AD
Self-confidence is nothing more than belief in one's ability to decide and in one's decisions.
~ L. Ron Hubbard
Once you've ruined your reputation, you can live quite freely.
The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. To be your own man is a hard business. If you try it, you'll be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself.
~ Rudyard Kipling, 1935
In the world, what counts more than talent, what counts more than energy, concentration, commitment, or anything else is kindness....And all the big words--virtue, justice, truth--are dwarfed by the greatness of kindness.
~ Stephen Fry
In absence of clearly defined goals, we become strangely loyal to performing daily acts of trivia.
~ Unknown
The first and greatest commandment is, Don't let them scare you.
~ Elmer Davis
There is more to life than increasing its speed.
~ Mahatma Ghandi
Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think.
~ La Bruyere
We do not stop playing because we grow old, We grow old because we stop playing!
~ Benjamin Franklin
I was reading about how countless species are being pushed toward extinction by man's destruction of forests....Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.
~ Calvin & Hobbes by Bill Watterson.
Just because it isn't true, doesn't mean it's not helpful.
~ Brent Zupp
Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.
~ Carl Jung
We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.
~ George Bernard Shaw
I want to be all used up when I die.
~ George Bernard Shaw
All of nature is the conjugation of the verb "to eat."
~ William Ralph Inge
Free market health care is about letting people die of treatable ailments if they don’t happen to have the money to pay.
~ Unknown
Twenty years from now, you will be more disappointed by the things you didn't do than by the ones you did. So throw off the bowlines. Sail away from the safe harbor. Catch the trade winds in your sails. Explore. Dream. Discover.
~ Unknown
If you are going through hell, keep going.
~ Winston Churchill
It is the function of art to renew our perception. What we are familiar with we cease to see. The writer shakes up the familiar scene, and, as if by magic, we see a new meaning in it.
~ Anais Nin
A wise person knows when to make the exception to every rule.
~ Barry Schwartz
It is the responsibility of the living to make meaningful the sacrifices of the dead.
~ Stephen R Donaldson
33 Funny Musings of Steven Wright
Steven Wright
Steven Wright - Here's another emailed bit of humor. It's by Steven Wright, whose biography consists of the following:
Below is a brief description included with the email. I'm not sure who wrote that part or about the "scientist" part, but Wright sure has a unique way of viewing the world. Enjoy!
The Soul's Code - by James Hillman
I was reading The Soul's Code: In search of Character and Calling by James Hillman. In lieu of a preface, he presents a small collection of quotations. Here are my favorites.
~ Joseph Chilton Pearce, Evolution's End
~ Pablo Picasso
~ Robertson Davies, Fifth Business
~ C. G. Jung
And this by Nabokov is...beautiful
~ Vladimir Nabokov, Speak, Memory
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